101 Best Halloween Jokes for Kids and Adults
Halloween isn’t just about costumes and candy — it’s about laughter too! Whether you’re looking to entertain kids, break the ice at a party, or throw in some classic dad humor, this list of the best Halloween jokes has something for everyone. From spooky knock-knocks to clever one-liners, these jokes will make your Halloween a little less scary and a lot more fun.
Halloween Jokes for Kids
- Why didn’t the skeleton go to the dance?
Because he had no body to go with! - What’s a ghost’s favorite fruit?
Boo-berries. - Why do vampires always seem sick?
Because they’re coffin. - What’s a witch’s favorite school subject?
Spelling! - Why don’t mummies take vacations?
They’re afraid to unwind. - What do you call a skeleton who stays up late?
A bonehead. - Why was the jack-o’-lantern afraid?
Because it had no guts. - What kind of pants do ghosts wear?
Boo-jeans. - What’s a vampire’s favorite dog breed?
A bloodhound. - Why do ghosts love elevators?
Because it lifts their spirits.
Halloween Dad Jokes
- What do you call a cleaning skeleton?
The grim sweeper. - Why don’t graveyards ever get overcrowded?
Because people are dying to get in. - What’s a ghost’s favorite ride at the fair?
The roller-ghoster. - Why did Dracula become a vegetarian?
Because biting necks was just a pain in the neck. - What did the zombie order at the diner?
A hand-burger. - Why did the skeleton quit his job?
Because his heart wasn’t in it. - What’s a pumpkin’s favorite sport?
Squash. - Why don’t witches wear flat hats?
Because there’s no point. - How do ghosts like their coffee?
With scream and sugar. - What did the vampire say to his girlfriend?
You’re just my type.
Halloween Jokes for Adults
- Why don’t vampires have many friends?
Because they suck the life out of every party. - Why did the ghost go to therapy?
He had too many haunting memories. - What’s a skeleton’s favorite instrument?
The trom-bone. - Why don’t monsters eat clowns?
Because they taste funny. - Why was the mummy so stressed out?
He was under a lot of wraps. - Why don’t witches ever get along with demons?
They always hex each other. - What’s a vampire’s least favorite meal?
A steak. - Why did Frankenstein go to the doctor?
He was feeling a little run down. - How do you fix a broken pumpkin?
With a pumpkin patch. - Why don’t skeletons fight each other?
They don’t have the guts.
Halloween Knock-Knock Jokes
- Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Boo.
Boo who?
Don’t cry, it’s just a joke! - Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Witch.
Witch who?
Witch one of you will give me candy? - Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Frank.
Frank who?
Frank you for the candy! - Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Vamp.
Vamp who?
Vampire’s here — let me in! - Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Ghost.
Ghost who?
Ghost to show you should open the door. - Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Pumpkin.
Pumpkin who?
Pumpkin up the volume, it’s Halloween! - Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Bat.
Bat who?
Bat-ter give me candy! - Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Skeleton.
Skeleton who?
Skeletons don’t knock — they rattle! - Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Zombie.
Zombie who?
Zombie a good neighbor and give me some treats. - Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Harry.
Harry who?
Harry up, it’s Halloween night!
Funny Halloween Jokes & Puns
- Why are graveyards so noisy?
Because of all the coffin. - Why do witches fly on brooms?
Because vacuum cleaners are too heavy. - Why did the vampire flunk art class?
He could only draw blood. - Why did the skeleton cross the road?
To get to the body shop. - What do you get when you divide the circumference of a pumpkin by its diameter?
Pumpkin Pi. - Why did the ghost go into the bar?
For the boos. - What’s a skeleton’s favorite snack?
Spare ribs. - Why are ghosts terrible liars?
Because you can see right through them. - Why did the vampire read the newspaper?
He heard it had great circulation. - What do you get if you cross a snowman and a vampire?
Frostbite. - What is a mummy’s favorite type of music?
Wrap music. - Why don’t zombies like fast food?
Because they can’t catch it. - Why was the graveyard so popular?
Because it was a dead giveaway. - What do witches put in their hair?
Scare spray. - What kind of mistakes do ghosts make?
Boo-boos.
More Halloween Dad Jokes
- Why do skeletons hate the cold?
Because the wind goes right through them. - What’s a vampire’s favorite fruit?
A neck-tarine. - Why did the pumpkin sit on the porch?
Because it had no guts to go inside. - What’s a monster’s favorite play?
Romeo and Ghouliet. - Why do ghosts like to ride in elevators?
It lifts their spirits. - What is a vampire’s favorite holiday?
Fangs-giving. - Why don’t mummies ever get invited to parties?
Because they’re too wrapped up in themselves. - What do you call two witches living together?
Broommates. - Why do skeletons love parties?
Because they have a smashing time. - Why did the monster take up gardening?
Because he had a green thumb. - More Halloween Jokes for Adults
- Why don’t witches ever get along?
Because there’s always some hex tension. - Why did the zombie cross the road?
To eat the chicken on the other side. - What’s a vampire’s favorite cocktail?
Bloody Mary. - What’s Frankenstein’s favorite food?
Monster-ella cheese. - Why don’t skeletons ever get hot?
They have fans inside them. - What do you call a fashionable ghost?
Chic-spirited. - Why did the witch go to the doctor?
She had broom-itis. - How do you make a skeleton laugh?
Tickle its funny bone. - Why are vampires terrible comedians?
Because their jokes always suck. - What do ghosts use to wash their hair?
Sham-boo.
More Halloween Knock-Knock Jokes
- Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Howl.
Howl who?
Howl you know unless you open the door? - Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Orange.
Orange who?
Orange you glad it’s Halloween? - Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Wanda.
Wanda who?
Wanda go trick-or-treating with me? - Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Ghoul.
Ghoul who?
Ghoul be seeing you on Halloween night! - Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Ben.
Ben who?
Ben waiting all night for some candy! - Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Olive.
Olive who?
Olive Halloween candy — give me some! - Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Goblin.
Goblin who?
Goblin up all the candy already! - Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Jack.
Jack who?
Jack-o’-lantern — let me in! - Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Broom.
Broom who?
Broom service, here for your Halloween candy! - Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Candy.
Candy who?
Candy give me a treat before I scare you?
More Funny Halloween Jokes & Puns
- What’s a ghost’s favorite dessert?
Ice scream. - What do skeletons order at a restaurant?
Spare ribs. - Why did the monster go to school?
To improve his ghoul-abulary. - What do you call a witch who lives at the beach?
A sand-witch. - Why was the vampire bad at baseball?
Because he only bats at night. - What’s a ghost’s favorite play?
Phantom of the Opera. - Why did the skeleton run away?
He didn’t have the stomach for it. - What do mummies like to eat for breakfast?
Cereal wrapped in cloth. - Why don’t werewolves tell the truth?
Because they’re a little hairy with details. - Why did the jack-o’-lantern win the contest?
Because it had a bright idea. - What do witches say on Halloween?
Trick or treat, smell my feet, give me something good to eat. - Why do ghosts love parties?
Because they’re a bunch of fun spirits. - What kind of music do mummies listen to?
Wrap music. - Why do pumpkins never quarrel?
Because they have no stomach for fighting. - What did the skeleton say at the comedy club?
“I’ve got a bone to pick with you.” - What do you call a ghost’s true love?
His ghoul-friend.
Conclusion
Halloween isn’t complete without laughter. Whether you’re sharing Halloween jokes for kids, cracking some dad jokes, trying out Halloween jokes for adults, or going classic with knock-knocks, these 101 jokes will make your spooky season unforgettable. Tell them at parties, in classrooms, or while trick-or-treating for maximum fun!